累了...再次的相遇,更让我觉得筋疲力尽.
我试着更加的任性,告诉自己别再有任何遐想空间,一切早在八百年前就不该发生!!!
笑容,只是我用来掩饰自己的武器. 如果有所选择,我何不想大声地将内心深处的话呐喊出来呢?
我恨!恨自己为何一次又一次地伤害彼此!
或许,这是我最后一次对你的任性了.
在此,只希望你能原谅我,因为我有我的原因...

################################
<单身潜逃>

PS:我想我真的忘了,然而我不够坚强

我没有你想像中那么坚强
我只是擅长用微笑去伪装 不是吗
我没有你形容的那么勇敢
我偶尔也会慌

我也和你一样曾经年少轻狂受了一点伤
我们都是一样相信永远不远但坚持却有点难

就让记忆中的爱慢慢烧
烧痛了我们就逃
带着现实的拷这点我善于的微笑
通往没有你的轨道

就让记忆中的你慢慢老
老去了谁也得不到
带着我的祈祷这点我累积的问号
开始一次的单身潜逃

##################################

或许,这首歌现在最能衬托我现在的心情吧!

小孩的心

有一位单身女子刚搬了家，她发现隔壁住了一户穷人家，一个寡妇与两个小孩子。
有天晚上，那一带忽然停了电，那位女子只好自己点起了蜡烛。没一会儿，忽然听到有人敲门。
原来是隔壁邻居的小孩子，只见他紧张地问: “阿姨，请问你家又蜡烛吗？”
女子心想：“他们家穷到连蜡烛都没有吗？千万别借他们，免得被他们依赖了！”于是，对孩子吼了一声说：“没有！”
正当她准备关上门时，那穷小孩展开关爱的笑容说：“我就知道你家一定没有！”说完，竟从怀里拿出了两根蜡烛，说：“妈妈和我怕你一个人住有没有蜡烛，朔依我带两根来送你！”
此刻，女子自责、感动的得热泪盈眶，江那小孩子紧紧拥在怀里。

心念一转，世界可以从此不同；人生中，都有转向的能力，就看我们怎么想、怎么转。
我们不会在三分钟内成功，但也许只花一分钟，生命从此不同。

--“我们不一定会因为赚很多钱而富有，但我们可以因付出的善念而使心中富有！”

"Because Of You"
by Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Mixture of Feelings

wow, its just been 3 days and i have already finished 2 papers. well, biz finance paper was not too bad lar, at least managed to finish everything. well, the corporate law paper sucks a lil anway...just hope to get a pass for it. nothing much can be done as its over. haha, so i am looking forward to my nex paper. each day passes very fast while studying ( and surfing the net ^_^). but as each days passes, the day going back to m'sia is getting nearer. as everyone knows, i'm always the homesick person amongst. well, i will miss the cooling weather here at least, haha, and maybe the public transport too, and when i can sleep till the afternoon here as dad wont be pestering me to wake up lolx! i think i wont be missing anything more than that. m'sia is still the best, with the best and economical food, with plenty of varieties for me to choose from. really make me start to drool once i think of my favourite penang char koay teow and then mid-nite supper for hokkien char...
i'm in a mixture of feelings right now. haha, may be funny to you people out there lar, as everyone is kan chiong bout their exam but i am here saying i am so. well, GOOD NEWS is i got an internship with Ernst & Young from 4 th December till 16 Feb. i'm glad too that i am offered the intern as its a prestigous company and i will learn lots of things there too. besides that, i will not have to bring any notes back as i will be busy with my intern by then, and i think dad wont ask me to revise summore lolx! on the other hand, i am a lil disappointed as my plan for trips and outings is gone. haha, i thought of going for an overseas tour with my family but i don't think i can make it for it now. anyway, mum advised me to go ahead til mid-Feb as they can still have the evenings and weekends with me. so, i'll be only having around 2 weeks in total fully devoted to my family. anyway, getting an intern makes me learn, makes me being exposed to the society more then. maybe that will make me more socialise lolx!
anyway, wishing all my friends out there good luck for your exams! all the best too! looking forward towards the day to see all of you!

《纪念》
作词:薛永嘉
作曲:marko
编曲:郭伟聪
演唱:六甲

你的笑容太美丽
带点孩子气
看着伤感的电影
你会哭哭的

关于你不开心的事情
别怕还有我在陪着你
开不开心
都随风而去
相信会雨过天晴

纪念甜蜜
纪念感情
纪念我们相识日期
还有一些不经意
留待记忆来证明
纪念风景
纪念过去
纪念彼此心情日记
不管何时何地
都少不了彼此的勇气
我爱你

爱充满幻想的你
整天为小事情担心
我会消除所有顾虑
我会保护你
有些事情不用提
彼此都很默契
yeah～
我爱你
我爱你
我爱你
关于你不开心的事情
别怕还有我在陪着你
开不开心
相信总会
雨过天晴

有些事情不用提
彼此很默契
偶尔闹点小情绪
我会让着你

我爱你
yeah～oh

<墨尔本的翡翠> 粤语版

歌手：林颐
作词、作曲:黄志远

卖力地为你唱只迷人情歌
慢慢地步入你的星座
故事情节总会坎坷
惟独有你靠在我身旁
尽力地为你抹去眼角泪光
尽力地避及猛风海浪
烦俗世间太彷徨
无奈青春不够耐看
我深怕我会连累你
让你翻山倒海般痛悲
自问已经筋竭力疲
没有力气竭斯底里
我奋力追
追到没法追
追到没法分清我是谁
不止我一人感到疲累
翻天的雨水能令你我都粉碎
我继续追
伤痛亦要追
跟接下去想不想都退
不管你的人被谁占据
都请你原谅我
始终带不到墨尔本的翡翠

尽力地为你抹去眼角泪光
尽力地避及猛风海浪
烦俗世间太彷徨
惟独青春不够耐看
我深怕我会连累你
让你翻山倒海般痛悲
自问已经筋竭力疲
没有力气竭斯底里
我奋力追
追到没法追
追到没法分清我是谁
不止我一人感到疲累
翻天的雨水能令你我都粉碎
我继续追
伤痛亦要追
跟接下去想不想都退
不管你的人被谁占据
始终爱不起，雾与火的差距
我继续追
伤痛亦要追
跟接下去想不想都退
不管你的人被谁占据
都请你原谅我
始终带不到墨尔本的翡翠

oh gosh..i am really in a very tension mode now. the exam is coming nearer and nearer but i am SICK!!! damn it. had fever + very sore throat on friday nite. fever ceased off after i sweat out over the nite while my throat is still very very sore till today. had been having migraine yesterday and today. my plan to finish a few chapters is not done.
had a bad dream last nite. i dreamt that i failed all my papers. the marks were scary. 20+ and 30+. reli omos made me pissed on bed...yucks! immediately i thought of dad saying that i will have to come back earlier if i do badly in my exams. i was like 'GDI! no way i will go back earlier! i dowan to go back to oz so fas while its summer and i'll be all alone during cny!!! i will go crazy!'
in conclusion, i jus wan to pass everyhting n it will be d best if i can get an average of 70, then i can happy happy holiday!
good luck to all my frens lol! all the best in the coming exams!

那一刻，我决定不再留恋的当儿，我真的松了一口气!
好久都没那么轻松过了.
曾经的酸、甜、苦、辣, 就让它们从此封锁在我心中的某个角落吧！
不再犹豫！
谢谢谢你曾经为我带来的快乐，也感谢你为我带来的痛苦，让我更懂得如何保护自己！也感谢你让我不再轻易相信别人，时时让我提醒自己不再犯同样的错误！
就到此为止吧...

its the fifth day of mid-sem break today. as usual, did nothing again in these 5 days, besides going around lolx.
after the ifa (intermediate financial accounting) mid-sem paper on thursday, cheryl, zhi hao n i decided to go for ice cream at fredos. i had durian and fredos' surprise each one scoop. argh, it made me miss durian back in m'sia. after that we went to elizabeth street to look around the camera shops. i saw a few that i like but the price was also 'liking'...later we had 'lord of the fries' and had a walk back to their apartment. it was cold and windy tat evening. had a good walk along yarra river and the night view was beautiful. we then took the train to camberwell for dinner. hahaha, only 3 dishes and we also didnt manage to finish. we ordered a seafood platter (fretto misto), a plate of spaggheti carbonara and a small pizza. the carbonara was delicious but we were too full to finish it so we 'da bao' it lor. reach home quite late tat nite but had a nice time together chatting lolx!!! =P


3 pastas in a big plate served in sophia


the ice cream served in sophia


half way eaten fretto misto!!!


rich n creamy n cheesy spagghetti carbonara!!!


tropical hawaiian delight (if i m not wrong lolx!)

on friday we went to chadstone. at least we managed to get ourselves there although it was the first time. took the train then later took bus to reach. there were nothing much there but had a good time too at the arcade. slamming on the crocs was reli fun!!! had nandos for lunch. glad tat c & zh manage to get the choc they were looking for --Golden poker and Gianduiotto. hehe, they gave me some too! thanx!


Golden poker and Gianduiotto

on saturday, we went to boxhill. aunty jane brought us to forest hill. saw lots of cute thingys there! maybe i'll go another round lolx. things there were extremely cheap! we saw a set of cooking utensils (70 pieces) and it only cost $129! the whole set looks so nice! later we went back to boxhill. aj brought us to a few shops that sells asian groceries and also a seafood shop. saw so many choices of dumplings and dessert in the seafood shop. reli make me drool lar...c & zh managed to get 'Overseas Restaurant' mooncake from the grocery shops. i can really feel the autumn festival mood over there. you can find boxes of mooncakes in stacks around any asian grocery shops over there. i miss the cheesie mooncake from Tai Thong and the yam mooncake from Teochew Restaurant so much!!! omg, how i wish i am back home now!!! later i got some 'yong tau foo' from a shop. bought six pieces of it as i reli missed mum's. mum's ytf is a mix of pork and fish meat together with spring onion but the ytf here was oni fish meat, but at least i get to eat rather than nothing mar...bought also 2 pkts of vegetarain curry/rendang. but hor, its imported from m'sia de lar...using double the price to buy over here. =.= '''

had a good rest on sunday and did 'part' of the bf assignment together with c & zh on monday.
we continued today but at last decided to put it aside lar as we didnt have any idea how to answer the questions...geram betul!!! (T.T) so........we decided to go over to their apartment to bake scones and a butter cake!!!! i am SOOOOOO happy that the scones turned out perfect! its the first time for me baking scones lol. the texture was ngam ngam leh! we ate with jam and butter lolx! later only mum told me tat we eat either with cream or jam, anyway, it was DELICIOUS!!!


scones in the oven!!!


freshly baked scones cooling on the rack!


ready to be served!

while whisking the batter for the butter cake, i thought that its 'gone case' liao as the batter was too dry. when we double checked with the recipe oni to find out that we forget to add in milk. hohoho, luckily in the end the cake turned out GOOD! the sweetness was ngam ngam and the tecture was fine too (although the look wasnt reli nice ^_^ )! ops, no photos for the cake as we we too excited le and i cut liao the cake oni realised...=D

anyway, i am quite enjoying my holiday right now although i need to solve some problems. hip hip hurray!!! hope i will fully use this holiday going around melbourne and start my corp. law asap!!! gambate!!!!

argh!!!怎么好像永远读不完的呢？！
今天放学回来后，倒头大睡，竟然睡到傍晚六点...
所以又浪费一天了咯.
读来读去还是困在第7&8课的习题.
已经开始期待着假期的来临了.‘希望'我会好好利用那两个星期，不要到头来又后悔.
爸爸妈妈今晚打电话来了,都担心我的健康...没办法呀，在三姐妹中，我的健康是最令父母担心的.
不是鼻塞了，就是咳嗽了,不是这个就是那个.
从没忘记在小学时每两三个星期就往诊疗所跑.医生总是开一贴黄色的液状抗生素.现在回想起来真感到恶心.都不知自己为何有一阵子都向医生要液状药,而不要药丸.笨就是笨...
这个学期里,健康总是频频出状况.开始就喉咙通了两个礼拜，后来就伤风，再后来就咳嗽.等上风咳嗽渐渐好起来时，不小心凉到了，咳嗽又逐渐严重...
希望自己在考试时不会病倒啊！加油！加油！加油！

又过一天了...
本来想逃一节课的，但是一想到爸爸妈妈那么辛苦供我读书若我还逃课的话，真是太对不起他们了，所以到最后关头还是决定去上课.
至少今天没什么胡思乱想，太多课了，根本没什么时间让我乱想哩！
但是，今天还是又想起他...
为什么呢？虽然知道我们之间的机会似乎等于零，但我还是控制不了自己像他啊.
人人都说时间是最佳的良药，但是都过了那么多年了，他也亲口告诉我了，为何自己还是放不下呢？
在与相差家里十万八千里的异国里，很多时候我都感到很孤单.偶尔多希望有人可以毫不吝啬的给我个拥抱,好好安慰我一番;借我肩膀让我在累的时候靠一靠，在 我想哭的时候可以哭倒在怀里...或许我偶尔有点任性，但是在我任性的那一刻才是真正的我...来到这里就不可以对父母撒娇了，所以至今还是时常home sick...
现在还在考虑是否应该在一月回来澳洲念summer...虽然只是一科，但是至少可以在其中一个学期减轻负担.但是一想到必须在新年自己一个人过的时候，就会觉得很孤单，而且越想到那种感觉就越不想那么早回来！！！
怎么办呢...谁来救救我啊...

现在对自己的形容词只有一个，就是: 身心疲惫
上个礼拜考了两个测验，第一个还不错，第二个，可以及格就好了...
发觉当我真正专心的时候,杂念就不会存在.
我已经放纵自己胡思乱想一阵子了.
脑子里经常会蹦出很多个万一...
万一有一天医生判断我只剩下个月性命的话，我会怎样好好去利用那一个月？
万一考试考得不理想的话，怎么办？
万一有一天父母不在了,我还能坚强的活下去吗？
万一这个、万一那个...
发觉自己越来越悲观了.
昨晚选择走路回家，就是希望自己借着半长不短的路程让自己反省这个学期所犯下的错误.
想了好久，才发觉自己平白浪费了半个学期了，幸好有中期测验，否则，又要在年尾一口气念完一个学期的课程了.
心中还是存在着他的影子，希望时间会慢慢把他从我的心中抹去...